Tuesday 17 January 2012

Voltaire Vampire Club - Fallout Parody

Ok... let me explain after hearing that Voltaire had made a Twilight parody of the song Vampire club, I thought "Hell a lot of other things could work here as well!"

So I (on a very LONG bus journey with a bunch of screaming and crying kids) started writing a Fallout parody of the song in my head.

this is what I have so far... (Note * means a point of interest which will be placed at the bottom of the page...)

Oh, the moon was full
And the color of dirt
The night those muties came
To get some hurt
Their leader was tall, black haired and dim
He was looking for the ghouls that trie to kill him
Well, he recognized a ghouly
From before
And he did something that was
Most uncalled for, he said,
"Hey everybody, see Ghoul over there?"
He name's Set
And he's like a girl with long hair!" *1



Limbs were flying, smooth skin*2 was torn
Hell hath no fury like a Mutant scorned
Number one rule in the wastes:
Never insult with such distaste
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
By armored boots in a rush!
And Tycho at the bar orders a Beer and says,
"Who the hell let all those mutties in here?"

In the ladies room Moira lost a tooth
All her rads were going through the roof!
And Caesar was mad because he broke his brain*3
And he flushed his contacts down the drain
There was so much angst after the fight
The Chosen and his Misses*4 broke up that night
While Harold and Bob danced in a puddle of goo
That used to be "Lynette" you-know-who!*6

Limbs were flying, skin was torn
Hell hath no fury like a Mutant scorned
Number two rule in the wastes:
If you start trouble you must be chased!
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
By power armoured boots in a rush
And The Burned Man at the bar orders a Bud and says,
"May God have mercy on this Mutant Club."

Well, its hard to believe but they're still around
And when they hang out sanity doesn't go down
Dressed in their T-shirt from 98*4 chanting,
"That Grim Reaper is full of hate!*5"
The Unwashed Village is a peaceful sight.
They're doing everything to avoid a fight
But if you really want to see some gore and blood
Wait 'til the Regulators*7 come to the Vampire Club

Limbs were flying, flesh was torn
Hell hath no fury like a Mutant scorned
Number three rule in the wastes:
Interplay boards must never be defaced!
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
By cleated boots in a rush
And Voltaire*8 at the bar orders some Blood and says,
"You better not ruin my song with this Mutant Club."

*1 By now some of you Fallout vets will figure out the tall black haired mutant is Harry who guards the watershed. For those who don't know Harry was a very dumb supermutant who could be easily tricked.
*2 I know how dirty this line sounds which is why I left it in as a joke "Smooth Skin" actually is what Ghouls call "NORMALS."
*3 This is in reference to Caesar's tumour in Fallout: New Vegas... and yes he DOES ware contacts... you just can't get them off his inventory. ;)
*4 The Unwashed Villagers were a small Fallout comunity, they had an encounter in Fallout 2. In this encounter they were hunting a spammer as they proteted the forums of the Fallout boards in the late 90s from trolls and spammers and the likes. There was once a joke about the "Unwashed T-shirt" I don't know if it exists though... hope it does. ;)
*5 The Grim Reaper was the spammer in the Fallout 2 encounter who caused a lot of trouble on the boards.
*6 Joanne Lynete from vault city, I always wanted to see that sour faced bitch get melted into goo.
*7 The Regulators from Fallout 1 (or 3 depending on preference).
*8 Voltaire is the guy who wrote the original song which is awesome I had to reference the author.

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