The Hanged Man's horrorscope

The Hanged Man's horror scope

Every day look under your star sign to find out what will happen to you today.

Aries






Today you will: Loose your virginity... to a walrus


Taurus






Today you will: Wish you had bought some clean underwear


Gemini






Today you will: Loose your only friend


Cancer






Today you will: Get the day off because your boss will die of a heart attack clutching a CV in his hand


Leo






Today you will: Meet your hero... in court



Virgo






Today you will: Get hit by a giant brief case



Libra






Today you will: Go to the straight razor caberet



Scorpio






Today you will: Wish you weren't dead



Sagittarius






Today you will: Hurt your back



Capricorn






Today you will: Loose your keys



Aquarius






Today you will: Die a slow and painful death



Pisces







Today you will: Find all you have ever wanted... in a sheep